Objective: The purpose of this Preacherhead Ministries’ Sister Chat project is to raise awareness about domestic violence and begin to serves as a catalyst for breaking the silence and stigma surrounding this complex issue. It provides an opportunity to educate the community about the prevalence and impact of domestic violence, debunk misconceptions, and encourage open conversations. It is not our intent to promote division between genders or families. By shedding light on the realities of domestic violence, individuals are better equipped to recognize warning signs, offer support, and seek help when needed.
The statistics are staggering…1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men aged 18 or older in the United States have been the victim of physical violence in their lifetime by an intimate partner. Let’s ALL be a part of the solution:
Please take the time to complete the self-reflections at the end of this narrative poem and share your thoughts with your sister circle. You are experiencing domestic violence, emotionally, and you feel physically safe. Pray for the strength and confidence to discuss your reflections with your spouse for the sake of strengthening your family. Consider professional counseling together. If you are not physically safe, create a support system around you and keep
Domestic Violence Resources:
Need help in the US?
Text HOME to 741741 to reach a trained Crisis Counselor through Crisis Text Line, a global non-for-profit organization. Free 24/7, confidential.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE (7233)
YMCA Domestic Violence Training
National Domestic Violence Website
Domestic Abuse Chronicle
Revised and reprinted from The Purple Rose by Michelle Rhnea Yisrael
michellerhnea.com
As you figure out what love it. Let’s talk about what love is not. They belittle you by saying things like, “I know you try, but this is just beyond the scope of your brain.” Patronizing. Insulting your appearance and belittling your accomplishments, their intention is to shatter.
They claim responsibility for your successes or brush off your achievements, saying they don’t matter.
Once they find something that annoys you or makes you uncomfortable, they begin to mention it every chance they get, ignoring your requests that they stop. Pushing your buttons, controlling, shaming. Poking.
When you express discomfort with something they’ve said, they snap back, “Can’t you take a joke? Grow up.” You’re left feeling foolish and wondering whether you are, in fact, too sensitive. Joking,
They suggest your hobby is a waste of time. “You’ll never be any good at the piano, so why do you keep trying?” Putting down your interests. Really, they’d rather you not participate in activities without their justification.
Are you being called derogatory nicknames and character assassination?
They pick fights, share your secrets, or make fun of your shortcomings in public. Public embarrassment. ’’You share something important to you and they reply with, “What? Who cares about that?” Body language like eye rolling, smirking, head shaking, and sighing help convey the same message. Dismissiveness.
Do they screaming, and swear and yell?
Do you feel like you are living in your own private hell?
There is a thing known as domestic abuse. It comes in physical and emotional betrayals. It cannot be stressed enough… the cycle of domestic abuse has to STOP How long will it teach our daughters and sons.
When is enough, enough and how long will it rent hearts before its end comes?
Let the records show these few statistics For women between the ages of fourteen and forty-four Domestic violence is the LEADING CAUSE OF INJURY OR DEATH kills MORE than auto accidents, muggings, and cancer deaths COMBINED 88% of children that live in homes where domestic abuse occurs are violent.
Approximately 8,800,000 children in the U.S. are AT RISK of abandonment
Or at risk of either WITNESSING or SUFFERING domestic abuse Almost one third of SENIORS (adults aged fifty-nine and over) in the U.S. report being abused by their children or grandchildren, having been beaten, cursed and often neglected for their money or the belongings for which they possessed. It effects everyone regardless of age, race, ethnicity, sex, social, or economic status.
It leaves devastation that modifies many young and old of us.
The abuser is all about CONTROL It is NOT and NEVER WAS or WILL BE about LOVE. Angry at THEMSELVES for feeling INADEQUATE in some way or pain they themselves saw and experienced as they grew up The subconscious believes it is the way it is supposed to be.
In denial won’t admit it nuts and crazy blind and can’t see.
OH, we do KNOW when we are abused We don’t want to admit it to neither ourselves and especially anyone else. We make excuses to cover up the crime we are ashamed but all we seek is the love and acceptance from our abuser Our reason is that we love them. With all their flaws and impaired ways we truly love us some him. He sees a vulnerability in a woman and he uses it to manipulate and control He sweeps the victim off her feet the fairy tale Prince Charming Dream-like its a whirlwind romance he either locks her down in a relationship or marries her quickly;
Usually within two months often with familial witnesses so slickly.
Then he systematically cuts her off from her support system either by moving away or by complaining so much with his tongue “they hog your time” or “I don’t like them and they don’t like me” his goal is to detach her support and systematically cut it off gradually she spends less and less time with her family or his, and especially friends.
This time is crucial since this is the time when the ‘fun’ begins.
He doesn’t like the way she dresses He doesn’t like the way she wears her hair She becomes the object of his flaring tongue You are so stupid you are too fat or conversely I will love you no matter how big you get you are trifling you are lazy you are ( ) fill in the blank
There is no more of the real you remaining on this sinking ship’s plank
Your self-esteem is perfectly destroyed then may come the physical smacking or not maybe a more constant and severe tongue lashing Then he says, “I’m sorry, I will never do it again” which is called the ‘honeymoon period’ or phase four if you will.
Next, it starts all over again up and down off and on in and out won’t be still
The average domestic abuse victim leaves their abuser seven times before they leave for good—or die—could be a spiritual or physical death Or wait she may plot to hurt him and are successful to a dismal and deadly despair How many will be the charm for her She could be ‘merely’ called every name in the book Humiliated in public Not spoken to and ignored for six months feeling his anger at every stare.
She could be stabbed, raped, beaten, thrown down the stairs or beat down til she doesn’t care.
STILL she goes back No one understands how completely defeated a victim feels if they have never been one The hardest thing for a friend or family member to watch Or to put their all into helping the victim get out to help a loved one successfully leave a bad situation.
And then they don’t leave or then they go back a source of sheer vexation.
I talked to women who went back to their abuser after suffering horrible injuries One woman got hit in the head so often, she always had a black eye and is death in her right ear I talked to a young pregnant woman whose boyfriend tied her down beat her in the arms and legs til they were swollen not wanting to hurt his unborn child broken limbs after “falling down stairs” where is the honor of man and wife?
Others “only” suffer emotional trauma leaving she and her children debilitated for
life.
Deciding to leave or stay and risk being killed or killing instead is a task more difficult than breathing More children suffer, become unproductive, and are at-risk—being witness to abuse Than being at-risk due to poor or husbandless parenting You don’t have just you—to think about, what about the children What are their chances of being abused or even being the abuser who mars.
The situation is as dangerous as children running in front of passing cars
These are not made up scenarios and facts this is a undeviating domestic violence cycles. And if you recognize yourself in this narrative poem and in these statistics there is only one thing to say… fall on your knees and pray now. You can ask The Father for anything, In Jesus’ name ask him soften hard hearts and to make your life new.
As I live I have come to see first-hand that men are abused too
